1Welcome to COMO's middle-class free agency.
For the first time, there is a dearth of elite names available — but this is a zero sum game, so that means this is also the deepest class in league history. Some guys — Kevin Durant, John Wall, and Boogie Cousins included — will be long-term investments. Some will be win-now propositions (looking at you, Chris Paul). A great many will be excellent additions to new squads, and will likely be the difference between a playoff berth and a legitimate championship run. Twenty-two players averaged 20+ bones last season, and there are some legitimate All-COMO candidates out there. Don't forget: COMO features two new teams (Hamburg BSV and Scranton) who will complete an Expansion Draft this week (featuring any cut players $1-14M). That will dry up the talent pool a tad. And with 14 total teams, we're in uncharted economic territory. That's part of the reason teams were so reticent to allow their big stars to walk this offseason; it's unlikelier than ever that they will see them again. Here's a breakdown of the 2019 COMO Free Agency class. NOTE: Expansion players are in bold, and their salaries have been increased by 7/6 to account for new league size. The salaries only matter for the Expansion Draft.
Cut but unavailable in UFA:
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CHANHASSEN, Minn. — It's a new dawn for Paisley Park. Tuesday, the long-suffering Rainmakers shed an ugly contract and collected an outstanding one. All it cost was a trio of draft picks and $17 million.
All-COMO guard Ben Simmons, who helped the Shorewood Show win a record 77 games in 2017-2018 and won a ring in 2018-2019, is now headed 5 minutes down the road to Chanhassen. In return, the Rainmakers are sending the Show their No. 17 overall pick in next Sunday's draft, as well as both their first- and second-round picks in 2020. Oh, and Paisley Park is untethering itself from the albatross that is DeMarcus Cousins' three-year deal ($17 million annually). It's a move that turns Paisley into an instant contender. The Rainmakers now have a pair of stars — Anthony Davis and Simmons — and some breathing room to bring in a third. "I still love Boogie," GM Brendan Halleron said, "but I took a 29-out-of-30 gamble he wouldn't be on the same [NBA] team as Davis. I lost on the 1-in-30 chance. I wish him all the best and hope he gets healthy, but I look forward to winning now with Simmons at the helm." Paisley has been one of COMO's most beleaguered frachises. The Rainmakers have only finished with one winning record in six seasons. Last summer's questionable pairing of Davis' and Cousins' long-term contracts only figured to lock the team into further turmoil. Suddenly, the winds have changed. There's Davis and Simmons. There's also likely No. 3 draftee R.J. Barrett, who should contribute immediately. Holdovers Jayson Tatum and Zach LaVine figure to score in bunches again. Oh, and last year's No. 2 overall pick, DeAndre Ayton, looks like a future All-COMO selection. Meanwhile, Shorewood has found a way to get return on Simmons, who was reportedly not in the team's future plans due to a complicated cap situation. Cousins will likely be cut this fall, but Paisley Park has agreed to pay the penalty for his 2021-2022 salary in that event, so Shorewood will only be on the hook for the next two seasons (perhaps the Show can find a suitor for Cousins in lieu of paying cash for his disappearance). Simmons arrived in Shorewood in summer 2017, following an injury-ruined season with Colorado. That season, he was the unanimous Rookie of the Year as the Show soared through the regular season with an unbelievable 77-5 record. While Shorewood lost to Newport Beach in the ensuing COMO Finals, the Show managed to claw back to the Finals this past April and upset the Minnesnowta Chill for their fourth championship. "Ben was an outstanding part of our organization for two seasons," GM Alex Smith said. "His work here was historic. And we'd love to keep him. But there was no wiggle room to make that happen." Despite losing Simmons, the Show will return two-time league MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo, All-COMO stud Nikola Jokic and All-COMO Playoffs selection Devin Booker, among others. Shorewood figures to be a heavy favorite to win its fifth trophy next spring. It will likely need to slip past Simmons and Paisley Park to do so. CHASKA, Minn. — Back in October, we predicted the Chaska Moose would win the COMO Championship, but we had no idea they'd be this dominant.
General manager Joey Fafinski already had an excellent roster this offseason, and then piled on the wealth with a prescient decision (cutting star player Kevin Love) followed by a batch of smart signings (Klay Thompson, Dwyane Wade, Ty Lawson and Mike Conley) that have the Moose coasting to their second consecutive regular season title. Leading the way is center DeMarcus Cousins, who averaged 36.67 bones over three contests en route to being named Player of the Week for the first time in his career. "DeMarcus could bring home those honors once a fortnight if he so desired them, but he's putting this dominant team on his back, doe," Fafinski said. With little to play for besides a COMO Classic 'ship against Minnesnowta in February, the Moose would be wise to rest some key players, but don't expect that to stem the tide. "The Moose couldn't tank if they tried -- every member of he crew save for Nik Stauskas is contributing this year," Fafinski said. "Much like the [NBA's San Antonio] Spurs, this team doesn't know how to do anything but win. United we graze, y'all." Chaska holds a sizable 24-point lead at the top of the standings with only seven weeks to go. The only way they could blow the regular season 'ship would be to lose to 'Snowta in the COMO Classic and then consistently finish below the Chill down the stretch. Nobody but the people in St. Paul are holding their breath at this point. CHASKA — After hoisting the COMO championship trophy and thanking his players for a wonderful season, Shorewood Show general manager Alex Smith sat alone in his office with a Short Straw in his hand and a smile on his face. “What do you know?” he asked. “Never thought I’d be sitting here celebrating a COMO title. Not this early in my career.” As if to prove his disbelief, Smith stared into the distance as if trying to conjure up an elusive thought that would never come. So, instead of some romantic musing, he instead focused on a topic that everyone seems to want to discuss: Joakim Noah. The 7-foot center, signed for $17 million in the offseason auction, came through when his team needed him most. Noah was left off the All-COMO regular season team, but was an easy selection for the All-Playoffs team (see story below). He averaged 27.88 bones in nine games to help the Show take down Kevin Love, DeMarcus Cousins and the vaunted Chaska Moose in the inaugural COMO Finals. 2014 All-COMO Playoffs TeamPoint Guard — Stephen Curry (Shorewood) — 31.27 (11 games)
Shooting Guard — James Harden (Shorewood) — 31.50 (10 games) Small Forward — Kevin Durant (Duval United) — 39.29 (7 games) Power Forward — DeMarcus Cousins (Chaska) — 31.71 (14 games) Center — Joakim Noah (Shorewood) — 27.88 (16 games) 6th Man — Kevin Love (Chaska) — 27.93 (15 games) First Team All-COMOSecond Team All-COMOCHASKA, Minn. — Joseph Fafinski was still in his luxury box well after the lights were turned off at Hazeltine Court.
The grueling COMO regular season had come to a close, and his Chaska Moose had snuck out the league title by a hair. Duval United made a great run at the crown, but fell short by 0.5 standings points. After everyone else had gone home, only Fafinski remained with a gaggle of reporters. His words were confident, but they belied the nervous wreck he had been hours earlier. "It was pretty obvious that we had the best team all year," Fafinski said. "We're excited to home the regular season trophy, but this is only the beginning." Fafinski has his sights set on the four-and-a-half weeks of playoff games between his team and the real prize: a world championship. After eking out the regular season 'ship, the Moose have a bit of momentum going forward. Star player DeMarcus Cousins (likely to be named to one of the All-COMO teams on Wednesday) was a last-second injury scratch, meaning other players needed to step up. Enter Kyle Lowry, the resilient point guard who plugged the gap with 38 bones. "Kyle helped calm my nerves," Fafinski said. "It served as a medication of sorts. I got nervous when DeMarcus was injured. I had to replace him with either Wes Matthews or Andre Iguodala. It was a no-brainer. I hate Iguodala." Before ushering everyone out of his private suite, Fafinski offered one last token of wisdom to the rest of his peers. "Good luck to everybody in the playoffs," he said. "You'll need it." COLUMBIA, Mo. — As the trade deadline draws nearer, which players are mortal locks to stay off of the transfer wire? We've already gone through the summer Free Agency Preview (and some of the league's worst contracts), but these are the guys franchises can build around for years to come:
20. Spencer Hawes, C ($1 million, 25 years old) — Newport Beach Grizzlies The Grizzlies picked up this seven-footer in November, and he's been nothing but solid ever since, averaging 20.0 bones in all NBA contests this season. 19. Chandler Parsons, SF ($2 million, 25 years old) — Chaska Moose Parsons has potential to fulfill more of a starring role in seasons to come with the NBA's Houston Rockets, where he's lingered over the 20-bone mark this year. 18. John Wall, PG ($14 million, 23 years old) — Newport Beach Grizzlies Wall is one of a handful of players who possess the potential to one day be a top-five player. His price tag is the largest of any player on this list, which knocks him down to No. 18, but it's tough to argue with a 23.6-bone kid who still isn't close to his ceiling. 17. Eric Bledsoe, SG ($3 million, 24 years old) — Minnesnowta Chill Before injuries derailed his 2013-2014 season, Bledsoe looked like one of the league's most promising young backcourt stars. If he heals up correctly, he has an opportunity to become and elite player. 16. Kyle Lowry, PG ($3 million, 27 years old) — Chaska Moose Chaska general manager Joseph Fafinski was savvy enough to pluck Lowry off waivers at the beginning of the season. While he's not exactly prime young talent, he was robbed of an NBA All-Star selection this year, and should continue his strong play for at least the next few years. 15. Derrick Favors, PF ($2 million, 22 years old) — Duval United Bold City fans are enthralled by Favors' potential. While he's hovering slightly below the 20-bone line, he is still very young and has a chance to grow in Duval's system. Rumors have it that Favors has recently been dangled in trade discussions, so the door might be open for another team to swoop in on the big man. 14. Goran Dragic, PG ($1 million, 27 years old) — Hollywood Hornets The Slovenian guard has been having a career year in Hollywood (22.0 bones in NBA contests) and has been one of the few bright spots for a floundering franchise. 13. Isaiah Thomas, PG ($1 million, 25 years old) — Minneapolis Player Haterzz Picked No. 60 overall in the NBA Draft a few years back, Thomas had an enormous amount of work to do to establish himself as a solid everyday player. But he's done just that this year in Minneapolis, and the Player Haterzz have a nice backcourt piece to build around if (when) Ricky Rubio leaves via free agency. 12. Lance Stephenson, SG ($1, 23 years old) — Minneapolis Player Haterzz Speaking of nice backcourt pieces, Stephenson should team with Thomas for the next few years to make the Player Haterzz a truly disruptive force with plenty of cap space available to make sure LeBron James returns for more title runs. 11. DeMar DeRozan, SG ($1 million, 24 years old) — Shorewood Show Like his Toronto teammate Lowry, DeRozan was picked up on waivers at the very beginning of the season after slipping through the auction draft. One All-Star appearance later, he appears headed for stardom in Shorewood. 10. Paul Millsap, PF ($4 million, 29 years old) — Chaska Moose The league is still shaking its collective head after Rio general manager traded away Millsap's beautiful contract in exchange for a $3 million Victor Oladipo. Only time will tell if this was truly a stupid move, but for now, Chaska is reaping some serious benefit with Millsap in its frontcourt. 9. Russell Westbrook, PG ($11 million, 25 years old) — Shorewood Show This is a player who is a top-five option when fully healthy, and to get him at a third of the cost that he would command on the open market is simply highway robbery. Westbrook will likely return to the Show's lineup this week or next after missing lengthy time with a knee injury. 8. Brook Lopez, C ($4 million, 25 years old) — Kansas City Monarchs Lopez has been hurt almost all season, but he managed 23.5 bones per game while healthy, and is an extremely important piece to build around for seasons to come in western Missouri. 7. Blake Griffin, PF ($12 million, 24 years old) — Minneapolis Player Haterzz This season has clearly been a breakout year for Griffin, who has shown a strong scoring ability and all-around improvement in his game. League owners were unsure about his potential ceiling, which shied them away in the inaugural auction draft. Minneapolis pulled the trigger, and is seeing its decision pay off with a playoff run. 6. Michael Carter-Williams, PG ($1 million, 22 years old) — Minnesnowta Chill The clear choice for Rookie of the Year, Carter-Williams has been playing well beyond his years this season for the Chill. Starting with the first COMO Rookie Draft this summer, most picks will cost at least $3, meaning the Chill snuck out a serious amateur bargain in the auction last October. 5. Rajon Rondo, PG ($3 million, 27 years old) — Duval United Rondo has not seen the court much this year due to injury, but he's averaged 28.75 bones in his past four starts, and clearly still has the ability to be an elite COMO player. The Bold City Brigade took a chance on the Beantown assist-machine in the auction, and surprisingly came away with him for $3 (in the same auction where Kobe Bryant went for $14 million). 4. Anthony Davis, C ($12 million, 20 years old) — Hollywood Hornets Davis has the look and numbers of a future COMO MVP, and he's well over the 30-bone mark in NBA contests this season. The Hornets obviously have a tremendous piece to build around for years to come, and Davis undoubtedly would have been a strong contender for COMO Finals MVP if Hornets management had not messed up this season so awfully. 3. DeAndre Jordan, C ($1 million, 25 years old) — Duval United Jordan has been the biggest surprise of the 2013-2014 season. Duval picked him off the scrap heap in late October, and he's proceeded to mash the rest of the league for 26.5 bones per NBA contest. Production like that is not supposed to come off the waiver wire, but the Bold City Brigade front office duo of Matthew Fairburn and Joe Dreyer nailed this one. 2. DeMarcus Cousins, C ($6 million, 23 years old) — Chaska Moose Cousins' primary issue is his hot head, but he has the ability to be a star in his current setting for several years. That's what puts him over the top of Jordan, who leans on the mastery of point guard Chris Paul for most of his opportunities. Cousins can whip up bones no matter where he lands in the NBA, and his current price tag is unfathomable when compared to his 28.3 bones per game. 1. Andre Drummond, C ($3 million, 20 years old) — Rio Rainmakers Drummond caps off this list of four straight underpaid centers. At the green age of 20, he has compiled 26.5 bones per NBA contest this season, and will be a force to be reckoned with for several years in Rio. It's impossible to guess how high Drummond's ceiling is, making him as trade-proof of a commodity as there is. REMINDER: The trading deadline is next Wednesday, Feb. 26 at 12 p.m. ET. |
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