Anthony Davis wins Player of the Week, still can't save Hollywood from the dark recesses of Hell12/28/2015 HOLLYWOOD — This is sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Even if Aaron Connolly Nutting actually reads this post, the Hollywood Hornets owner is powerless. His team has been sanctioned by the holy basketball powers. No life. No happiness. No hope. Power forward Anthony Davis was in MVP form this week, putting up 36.67 bones across three starts. But Hollywood (11-33) lost four more games to run its streak to six and drop to the bottom of the COMO standings. The Curse of Clauss is alive and well. We're sorry, AD.
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CHASKA, Minn. — We know Chaska is one of COMO's deepest teams, and the Moose proved that again with a huge week from shooting guard Klay Thompson. The 25-year-old dropped an average of 36.00 bones over two starts en route to his first career Player of the Week nod. But the Moose are no longer in command of the standings; rival Duval United has won 16 straight games to grab a three-game lead over Chaska and Rio on the COMO table. "It's nice to have some individual recognition, but guys like Ty (Lawson) have to step it up and are the reason we aren't in our usual first-place standing," GM Joseph Fafinski said. "Grow up, bro. We're the freaking Moose." Chaska travels to Nova Scotia for a date with Sunnyvale, then hosts Kansas City before taking Christmas Eve off. JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Chaska and Shorewood have dominated the COMO narrative for two-plus years, with Duval United serving as the unlucky third wheel on a pair of championship runs. This year, the Moose and Show are strong again. But the Bold City Brigade might finally break through. Reason No. 1? Kevin Durant. The 2013-2014 COMO MVP looks like he's back in elite form; he put up 36.75 bones over four starts last week as Duval (27-9) claimed first place for the first time this year. "First place is definitely where I parked my car," general manager Joe Dreyer said. Co-GM Matthew Fairburn concurred. "At the end of the day, you gotta feel some way," he said. "So why not feel unbeatable? Why not feel untouchable? Why not feel like the best to ever do it?" In other words... "J and I aren't here to take part," Fairburn said. "We're here to take over." HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Maybe things are getting back to normal in Hollywood. Last year's COMO MVP, Anthony Davis, got off to a slower start than usual this season. The 7-footer was completely shut out of the five Player of the Week awards handed out to begin the fall. But this week, he broke through, averaging 38.67 bones in three starts as the Hornets went 3-1, improved to 10-20 and grabbed hold of the No. 8 spot. Coach Jimmy Chitwood knows he needs to lean on Davis if he wants to survive his first season. "He goes," Chitwood said. "I go." MINNEAPOLIS — Forgive Birdie Sheppard for not understanding coach-player relationships in today's game. The Minneapolis Player Haterzz boss cut his teeth in the '90s, when players were constantly dunking on 9-foot rims and pulling out handguns in postgame handshake lines. A scene from the first month of the COMO season illustrated how out of touch he can be. "Check this out," he told rookie post Karl-Anthony Towns after a loss. "You ain't goin to college or any f---in where if the Bird Man don't win." Towns has already been to college; the Haterzz drafted him No. 1 overall out of Kentucky. But Sheppard is in his own world. "You ain't the motherf---in' man no more," he said to general manager Dan Renfro last week. "I'm the one! S--- has changed! It's a new day, bro. If you can't clean up your act, I suggest you raise the f--- up and get the hell out of Dodge... or get caught up." Clearly upset, Renfro told media that he — not Sheppard — would be the one presenting Towns (24.13 bones in 15 starts) with the COMO Rookie of the Month award for October and November. "KAT is a stud and finna get the job done," Renfro said, still visibly shaken. "Being the best rookie is no surprise. Only a matter of time before he's at the top of the league." Renfro went on to criticize point guard Chris Paul, who has not played up to his All-COMO standard this season. "If the Haterzz make the playoffs, it will be in large part due to (Towns)," Renfro said. "And not the horrible 'big name' signing from the summer." At 9-21, Minneapolis has clearly suffered from the obvious chain of emotional abuse. "That motherf---er ain't s---," Sheppard said of Renfro. "He don't care about me, you, nothing. Okay? Understand?" Loud and clear. SHOREWOOD, Minn. — Where would the Shorewood Show be without Stephen Curry? The All-COMO point guard helped the Show win their first championship in April 2014 after getting shipped from Newport Beach at the trade deadline. Earlier this year, he was the COMO Finals MVP. Now, he's leading the league in bones (34.32 / 19 starts) while keeping the Show afloat at 14-10. Shorewood has taken a step back this season while trying to sort out its eight-man lineup. Bigs LaMarcus Aldride and Pau Gasol are not the players they were last season, and a promising core of young players has taken longer to develop than planned. But the Show have quite the X-factor. "I've never seen anything like it," GM Alex Smith said after Shorewood's 2-0 weekend. "He's the most unique player since Jordan, and the fine people of Hennepin County get a close look at him every few nights at Big Reggie's Danceland. Basketball fans around here are living a dream right now." |
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